It is my basic belief that no one is truly emotionally healthy. Whether you have anxiety, depression, or are just completely devoid of all emotion, you've probably got some kind of something going on there.
In that spirit, you should know that, since the birth of my first daughter, I've been told that I'm depressed and anxious. I've been on a series of antidepressants and had therapy, and through all of it, I never really felt truly depressed.
Recently, someone shared an article with me about what it's like to be a woman with ADHD, and it was fascinating to me. Not only did I not remember having written said article, but I have never been diagnosed with ADHD.
The thing is, that every word of that article sounded exactly like my experience with, well, everything, so I began the process to speak to a psychiatrist.
Well, yesterday, I met with said psychiatrist and was officially diagnosed with ADHD. She explained that this isn't new, it's something I've always had, and that the chemical imbalance caused by ADHD makes regular sadness appear as depression and regular nervousness presents as anxiety.
She placed me on methylphenidate (Ritalin), a neural stimulant that's supposed to bring my dopamine into balance. The only problem is that Ritalin isn't approved for use during pregnancy which gives the psychiatrist pause. Though we don't have studies that show issues with human babies while their mothers are on stimulants, we do have studies that show that similar mammals do.
But, like I mentioned before, I cant even try to get pregnant until mid January, and if my calculations are correct, it won't be until late January. Therefore, that gives us about 6 weeks to give this a try.
The doctor says that the drug comes out of the system within a week, and she agrees that, if I stop taking it the day I have my next IUI, I'll be doing he both mitigating the risk to a child as well as taking care of my mental health.
We also both agree that plenty of women become pregnant while already on this medication, so as long as we minimize the risks, that's how we'll move forward.